John Dale

It’s all about me!

September 23, 2011 by John Dale Leave a Comment

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone did what we wanted them to do all the time? Make a request and BOOM!, the request is granted. Ask for something to be accomplished and SHAZAM!, it’s done. That would be awesome! And, what if it happened for everyone? Wouldn’t that be great? We’d all be happy all the time.

Well, let’s get over that…we all know that this isn’t the way it is. The waiter doesn’t bring the water. My 15 year old doesn’t clean his room. One of my employees continues to miss deadlines. My boss waits until my formal performance review to tell me how things are going. Not everyone does what we need all the time. It just doesn’t happen. Sometimes this isn’t a big deal (I can wait on the water). But other times it really matters (our customers are complaining).

We all have that one person—could be a friend, a child, a co-worker, an employee, a spouse (by the way, most of us have more than one these people in our lives) that does something that gets in our way, bugs us, annoys us, challenges us, or drives us up a wall. No matter how many times we’ve asked or begged or yelled or pleaded—nothing changes. What’s wrong with these people?!?!

What it comes down to is me (and you). It comes down to what we say, when we say it, and how we say it. It comes down to the words we choose and when we choose to use them. It comes down to us—you and me—and how we do this. Because, if we don’t do anything differently, how can we expect anything to change? After all, we’ve tried everything and, if we keep doing what we’ve always done we’re going to get what we’ve always got (you’ve heard that before).

We do have choices. When we choose those words and choose to use them, we could do it in a way that instills fear (you know…a threat). This is a powerful way to get folks to do what we want…in the short-term. You’ll get what you want and cause a whole lot of bad feelings in the process (anger, resentment, etc.). This is the long-term impact. Trust me, this is not the way to do it (if you want to keep getting promoted, if you want your children to be open with you, if you want extra-special service). You might be asking, why do people take this tact. We’ll address this in another discussion.

Instead, think about what you can do to get the change to happen and leave the person feeling okay or even good about meeting your need. Be polite, be respectful, talk about the impact on you and others, offer support…you know treat the person as you would like to be treated. This doesn’t mean all hugs and kisses all the time by the way. There will be occasions when you have to be a little tough (“We’ve talked about you being late on your work. We agreed that the next time you were late that I would need to formally document the incident. You are late again with an assignment. I am going to document this and it will go in your record.”). But if you’re doing it right—these times will be few are far between.

So, it is all about me! (or you) For me to affect change and get my needs met, I will likely need to change my own behavior first. Trust me again, this will get you further, faster AND the people around you will come to respect and trust you and they’ll work harder to never let you down.

Filed Under: It's All About Me, Leading Myself

The Silver Bullet

July 20, 2011 by John Dale 1 Comment

In folklore, the silver bullet is supposed to be the only kind of bullet for firearms that is effective against a werewolf, witch, or other monsters. The term has been adopted into a general metaphor, where “silver bullet” refers to any straightforward solution perceived to have extreme effectiveness. The phrase typically appears with an expectation that some new technological development or practice will easily cure a major prevailing problem.

In fact, we now use the term ‘silver bullet’ to refer to something which cuts through complexity and provides an immediate solution to a problem. The allusion is to a miraculous fix, otherwise portrayed as ‘waving a magic wand.

As leaders, we are busy and there are many demands on our time. What would we give for something that would make our lives better, something that solves a lot of different problems, something that is easy to use, readily available, and something we can start using now? What is it were free? Sounds too good to be true. Sounds like a silver bullet.

The silver bullet in this case you! More specifically it is about the things that you say and do as a leader. Even more specifically it is about the things you say and do as a leader to reinforce and support others. Big let down? Before you run off, give me one more minute.

If you’re worth your salt as a leader, your people want to be around you. They want to hear what you have to say and they want your attention. They want to know what you think about their work. They want to know how their work contributes to the performance of the organization. All of this stuff matters. It really matters. This is your silver bullet!

Take the time to use yourself to let people know what you think. Let them know why their work matters. Let them know how their work adds value. Inform them about things that matter to them–never assuming they know. Do not discount what I’m saying. I have 20+ years of experience coaching and helping some of the best leaders in the world and one of the things that makes them great is that they do these over and over again.

Try it! Think about something that one of your team members (or family members or friends) is doing that matters to you and is making a difference. Tell them about it…be specific by telling them exactly what you’re seeing, how its helping, and why it matters. Keep doing this more and more and you might be surprised at the result.

Let me know how it works for you.

Filed Under: Leading My Team

Do you want fries with that?

July 5, 2011 by John Dale Leave a Comment

One simple behavior can lead to $100′s of millions in more business. What if you were able to ask your employees to do one thing…one simple thing…differently and that one thing led to $100′s of millions in more business? Interested?

Love them or hate them, Southwest Airlines makes money. They do the basics better than any other airline. Think like turn planes around faster, get passengers on board faster, and provide basic service better. They have one of the best safety records in the industry and they they do not charge for checked luggage. They also make money, did I mention that?

In an incredibly competitive industry they still find ways to make money while at that same times making their customers feel good. In an effort to boost revenues, Southwest started offering an upgrade to their B French-Fries usiness Select fliers. For $20, passengers could buy their way to the front of the line to get first choice of non-reserved seat and carry-on space. They also received a coupon for a cocktail. When passengers called reservations, reserved on-line, or checked in at the airport they were asked a very simple question: Would you like to get on first, have a good place for your bag and enjoy a cocktail?

This simple question resulted in $100 million in additional revenue and some really happy customers.

This story illustrates the power of behavior. That simple question–Would you like to get on first, have a good place for your bag and enjoy a cocktail?– is a behavior. Yes behavior and behavior really matters in business.

But that word…that one little word gets in the way. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word behavior? If you’re like most people, words like children, bad, school, attitude come up. Sadly, these associations get in the way of THE single most important driver of performance in any organization. After all, machines don’t run, sales aren’t made, initiatives do not get implemented, and leaders don’t lead without behavior. As important as it is, it is one of the least understood parts of business yet it holds transformational potential.

We’re all behaving all the time. Everything we say and every action we take is a behavior. Giving instructions, attending a meeting, smiling, asking a question, answering the phone, writing a note, giving performance feedback…all are behaviors. Attitude, intentions, thoughts…are not behaviors. A simple way of looking at this, if you can put it on a video tape its a behavior. If it is internal to someone (as in a intent) or has to be explained (because the video tape isn’t enough) then it most probably is not a behavior.

This is important because once we understand what behavior is and isn’t, then we are in a position to influence it and influencing behavior the right way can unlock the most amazing potential which can readily and directly lead to significant improvements in business results.

So here was your introduction to behavior, what do you think? What more do you want to know?

Filed Under: It's All About Me

The $oft $tuff

July 3, 2011 by John Dale Leave a Comment

Disclaimer: This is a topic that brings out the cynic in me. There are so many different approaches to change management and, after 25 years of doing this, I know what good looks like. I’m not talking about “the model.” I’m talking about the underlying philosophy and drivers—the engine that makes it work.

Have you ever heard (or perhaps uttered the words yourself) “that’s the soft stuff” in reference to the people side of change—it’s said in a way that implies that it’s the easy, not so important stuff. You know, the stuff that HR or OD or L&D can just “handle.” The “hard stuff”—the strategy, the plans, the newly designed process, the new organization design, the technology—is done. Now we just need to take care of the “soft stuff”—meaning getting people to use the new whatever.

Check out these real-life situations…

A major manufacturing company is implementing Lean Sigma. Consultants have come in and leadership is excited. Black and Green Belts have been trained. Some projects have been completed with a lot of potential benefit. Slide decks have been created. Those new process have been communicated, people have been trained, and posters have been made. Still, everyone seems locked into doing it the old way—all that potential isn’t becoming reality.
A pharmaceutical company announces that it is buying and merging with one of its competitors. Promises have been made about synergies. Press conferences are held. Teams have been formed to combine this group with that one. But the cultures just don’t mix. Resistance rears its head. Productivity slows, some good people jump ship and those synergies promised to The Street just never become reality.
A large food-service company has implemented an ERP (enterprise resource planning) system that promises real-time information about everything from who has worked what hours to current inventory levels to current accounts payable to shipment locations. If only people would use the system as intended—the system would probably live up to its promises.

In each of these cases, a lot of money and time were invested but the promised returns never materialized (or if they materialized, it took a lot longer than it should have). In all three of these cases, the problem was the same—“the soft side.” However, I’m here to tell you that the “soft side” is really the hard stuff. It is where we have to get down and dirty and roll up our sleeves to help people to do things differently. After all, new results mean new behaviors. And, WITHOUT ANYONE DOING ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY, NOTHING CHANGES.

Now many reading this will say “we had change management as a part of our work.” We all do! In the example above, each organization had a change management process. But, let’s be clear and let’s be real—not all change management is created equal. Like a lot of things, there’s the good, the bad, and the ugly and sadly, many do not know the difference (and some do not care to know the difference—after all, it’s just the “soft stuff”).

So how do you know if your change process is effective or not? There are two simple features of any effective change management process. These are the minimum requirements, if you will. Without either of these features, you will not be successful. Period.

Feature 1: The change process must be outcome focused.

Change is messy and it sure isn’t a linear process. People start doing things then stop. People hang on to the old ways. People hear things differently. This is what we do…we’re human after all. Whatever change process you use, ensure that it focuses on the outcomes in terms people’s behavior changing. Contrast this with an activity-focused process where the goal is completing a series of steps with little or no regard to outcome.

For example, many change management processes suggest doing some kind of readiness assessment. The activity-focused approach would have us do the assessment, look at the results and then move on to the next step—really doing very little with the results. (You might not believe that this happens but it does all the time.) The outcome-focused approach would mean pausing and really understanding what the assessment results mean. If the assessment suggests that they organization isn’t ready, then we would pause and figure out what needs to be done to help get it ready…not just plow on to the next activity.

While this seems obvious and straightforward, in reality the activity trap is an easy one to fall into when the meter is running and the clock is ticking. The project plan (which was developed without contingencies for the “soft stuff”) and budget drive the work. However, there needs to be a balance. Does it really do us any good to come in on time and on budget if no one uses the new thing?

Feature 2: The change process must focus on behavior—what people say and do.

Simply put, unless somebody does something differently, there is no change. This can be a bit deceptive and probably sounds way too basic. But there is almost always one critical piece missing—a detailed understanding of who needs to do what differently for the new “thing” to work. And often, there are a lot of different people needing to do a lot of things differently. This is why I said the opening statement is a bit deceptive. It sounds so so simple but to get all of these people to do all of these new things can be very complex and requires time, patience, understanding, and some tools.

I have four things for you to think about when it comes to focusing on behavior.

Recognize and embrace the concept that nothing changes unless behavior changes—Polish it, put it in lights, admire it—if no one uses it, it just doesn’t matter.
Know that human behavior is more than a factor in the change, it is the change—A corollary to #1, just park the notion that the soft side is part of the change. Now, accept the knowledge that the soft side—or better said—the behaviors of those using the new whatever IS the change.
Accept that the people side cannot be planned as a linear set of activities—It’s messy out there. We must factor in that not everyone is going to jump on board when they’re asked to—and for very good reasons. Having time to ensure that people are doing what’s needed and to assess the root causes when they’re not is key to sustainable change.
Understand the difference between those things that get behavior started and those things that maintain behavior—In my post As Easy as ABC I talk about this in detail. Too much of change management is about getting behaviors started (communication, training, job aids, etc.). This is necessary stuff but it isn’t sufficient for last change. For that we need coaching and feedback, acknowledgement, recognition and, most importantly, a new whatever that is easy to use!!

So, the next time you’re tempted to say the words “the soft stuff” in reference to the people side of the business, STOP! It is the hard stuff and deserves as much and probably more attention than the new whatever.

I have dedicated an entire section of this site to Managing Change. In that section you’ll find tools, stories, examples, and resources to help you design and lead major change in your organization.

Filed Under: Leading Change, Leading My Organization, Uncategorized

As Easy as ABC

July 1, 2011 by John Dale Leave a Comment

So this is easy…it really is.

We all behave…we speak and we do. That’s it. That’s what behavior is…the things we say and do. Isn’t that easy?

Interestingly, we’re all pretty comfortable with the things that we say and do–our own behavior. It’s other people’s behavior that gets in the way sometimes. So why does that happen? Why do other people do things that are not acceptable, desired, wanted, and so on? Well the answer to that is as easy as ABC.

We all behave for a reason. Everything we do, it is for a reason. I might not understand why you do what you do and you might not understand why I do what I do, nonetheless there is a reason. Most of the time, having to understand why we’re doing what we’re doing isn’t a big deal. However there are times when it could be most helpful to do so. For example, as a leader, understanding why you do what you do and why your people do what they do can be critical to your success. So let’s get to that understanding.

A = Antecedent: These are the things that get our behavior started. The alarm clock ringing. A red stop light. A corporate mandate. A new law. These are all meant to get behavior started. That’s what antecedents do, they prompt or activate behavior and usually do a good job of it. However, antecedents alone do not sustain behavior.

B = Behavior: Let’s agree on a definition—Behavior: the things we say and do. It is not about attitude, emotion, intent, or anything in between the ears. It’s about those things that we can see—as in a video replay. That’s behavior. As simple as that is, I find that people have a really hard time talking about and focusing on behavior. We’re very quick to jump to intention and other reasons for behavior. Do yourself a favor—just start with and try to stay with behavior for a while.

C = Consequence: When we behave something happens to us—each and every time. We might not know or be aware of what that something is but it happens. Consequences, which can be positive or negative, follow behavior and directly affect whether we will do the behavior again or not. As you’ll come to see, consequences are pretty powerful as it is consequences that sustain or stop behavior.

That’s it—pretty easy so far. I’d like to use an everyday example to bring the ABCs to life.

Suppose a new Italian restaurant opens in your neighborhood. A friend of yours is one of the first people you know to try it and she raves about how great it is…the service, the atmosphere, the food…all just great. A few weeks later you’re able to give it a try and you’re not at all impressed. The service was slow, it was too bright and loud, and the food was average at best.

Fast forward a few weeks. Same friend comes up to you and tells you about another place she tried in the next town over. It’s a new Thai place and she knows you like Thai food. She loved it and really suggests you give it a try. You remember her previous recommendation but decide that it might have just been a bad night at the Italian place. So, you give the Thai place a try and it’s horrible. You try hard to find some good things about it but just can’t.

What will you do the next time this friend recommends a restaurant? Let’s look at this in terms of ABC.

Antecedent	Behavior	Conseqence
Recommendation from a friend about new Italian restaurant	Go to Italian restaurant and eat	Bad experience—bad food, atmosphere, service
Recommendations from friend about Thai restaurant	Go to Thai restaurant and eat	Bad experience—bad food, atmosphere, service

Based on two “bad” recommendations from that friend, you will likely not follow her recommendations in the future. As easy as ABC.

We are surrounded by ABCs. People are behaving around us constantly. We’re behaving constantly. You feel an itch (antecedent), you scratch it (behavior), you feel relief (consequence). Jan is thirsty (antecedent), Jan takes a drink (behavior), Jan feels satisfied (consequence). You’re at lunch and the check comes (antecedent), you pay the check for you and a friend (behavior), your friend says, “Thank you. That was very nice of you.” (consequence). There is a defined process (antecedent), Sal uses his own process (behavior), no one says anything to Sal and he gets the job done easier (consequence).

Hold on…put on the brakes. Let’s look at that last one. This is where the ABCs can become very interesting and powerful.

One would expect that if there is a process in place that people would follow it (same goes for an expectation, work direction, instruction, etc.). However, all of those things are antecedents and, as I mentioned earlier, antecedent get behavior started, they do not sustain behavior. So let’s assume that Sal was trained in the new process let’s also assume that Sal has a job aid that explains the new process. Then why isn’t Sal using the new process?

Consequences! The consequences for following the new process make the job harder and it takes longer. So this well intentioned employee who wants to do a good job (most do), finds it easier and faster to do it the old way. To be clear, it is easier and faster for Sal. This is not to say that it is better for the organization. In fact, one would hope that the new process is better for the organization (safer, higher-quality, etc.). It is what happens to the employee that matters here.

If we want to change this or any other situation, we must understand and accept this point—it is what is happening to the performer that matters. What should be happening is secondary unless we understand what is happening and why. In this case, notice the part about no one saying anything to Sal. This is as good as saying, “Sal, you do whatever you want.” As a leader, never underestimate your role or the role of other leaders in something like this (see The $oft $tuff).

I spend a lot of time on the ABCs at this site (check out It’s All About Me, The Silver Bullet, and Do You Want Fries with That) almost every article, tool, and principle that I talk about comes back to this model—after all we all behave! The Consummate Leader knows this and uses it every day.

Filed Under: Leading Myself, Uncategorized Tagged With: ABC, antecedent, behavior, consequence

MY perception and THE reality

July 1, 2011 by John Dale Leave a Comment

It’s not what we don’t know that hurts us. It’s what we believe is true that isn’t that does the damage.

You’ve likely heard the saying “perception is reality.” For those of us doing the perceiving it is OUR reality. It might not be THE reality, but it is our version of reality (I’m not trying to get all metaphysical on you here).

Normally, the two versions are close enough not to cause us problems. However, there are times when the subject is a big deal or important and the disconnect between my version of what is true and the real version of what is true can cause some serious problems. This is when a coach can help.

We’ve all experienced the impact of this disconnect. I hear a co-worker say something in a way that, to me, sends the message that her work is more important than mine. Based on this, I say something to correct her. Which over time escalates into a broken relationship. Or my boss sits back in his chair, crosses his arms, and looks at me over his glasses when I’m providing an update. I see this and I feel that he is impatient with what I’m saying and I shut down. My boss in turn sees me lack of words as a lack of preparation.

In both of these rather simple examples, and there is an endless number of them, how I perceived the words and actions of others affected how I acted which in turn affected how the other person acted. (By the way, this happens in reverse sometime too…where I might get “credit” for something based on someones perception of what I said or did.) So what’s to be done?

Filed Under: It's All About Me

Our Number One Fear

July 1, 2011 by John Dale Leave a Comment

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

– Jerry Seinfeld

When I was about 12, I was awarded the Arrow of Light. It is the highest award given to a Webelo (a more senior Cub Scout) before he becomes a real Boy Scout. One of the requirements for the award was to give a public speech. I choose our awards banquet for my speech (which included fellow scouts and their families) and it was easily the most traumatic experience of my life at the time. I was stuttering, my voice was cracking, I had tears in my eyes, and a little bit of pee came out.

I carried this experience with into college where, in my sophomore year, I had no choice but to face and conquer this deeply embedded fear. After just sitting down in one of my first engineering classes, the professor called my name (there were about 90 students in the class, how did he pick me?) and asked me to come to the front of the room. He pulled out a small box and instructed me to put my hand in and, without looking, select an object. Then he told me what to do.

“Mr. Dale, that is your name right? Mr. Dale please take the next three minutes and give us a speech on that object.”

It was an old, tattered glove some missing fingers.

I looked out at the class…90 very curious, relieved, and smiling faces (some out of kindness, some waiting to see the show). I did my best, stuttering (which was never an issue in normal conversation), cracking voice…but no pee this time! After the hour-long speech (well it seemed that long), my professor asked my classmates for a critique of my performance. The class was kind to me…after all, I was the first and they new that they would all be in my place eventually. As it turned out, we all had to reach our hands into that box a few times during the semester.

Looking back, that, even though painful, was one of the best and most important experiences I could have had. It taught me a lot about public speaking and it taught me to enjoy it! I started to take any opportunity that I could to do a presentation or a talk and I always asked for feedback on how I did. Today, I’m fortunate to receive pretty positive reviews of the talks that I give–whether educational or motivational.

But that’s me. What about those of you who a still petrified to speak publicly but need to do or want to. Here is my top tips for overcoming your fears and becoming proficient (and down right good) at speaking.

Face your Fear—Fear is a learned response designed to protect us. From a spider to a sound in the dark to speaking in public, we all have fears whether from real experience or from what we’ve been told. While the reason we fear something might not be a good one, fear is very real. Do this: A) Ask yourself, what are you really afraid of? Embarrassing yourself, not sounding smart, etc. Most of the people I coach are afraid of something else…not the actually act of speaking in public and B) Talk with others, ask them how the overcame their fear and above all else, know that you can overcome it…many many people before you have.
Begin with the end in mind—As with most things we do, know what you want to accomplish. Think in these terms, at then end of my talk, what are the 2 to 3 things I want the audience to remember or do differently. Then design your talk around these outcomes.
Prepare, prepare, prepare—One of the best ways to combat the fear is to know your topic and what you’re going to say backward. While this seems like common sense, too many times I see folks stand up to speak and they really are not ready. One good test of whether you’re prepared—can you give the talk without any notes. Nothing, nada, zip!
Tell ‘em what you’re going to tell ‘em, Tell ‘em, Tell ‘em what you’ve told ‘em—One of the best tips I ever received was this. Start the talk by telling the audience what you’re going to say. For example, “Over the next 20 minutes, I am going to share five key actions you can take to become a better speaker.” Then, tell them. Go through your 2 – 5 key points using the other tips here. Finally, tell them what you told them. “Let me remind what those five tips are one more time before I close…”
Tell some stories—Nothing brings a talk to life like stories. They can be real or made up. Either way, tell some stories that illustrate the points you are making. This is a good way to introduce some humor into your talk as well (if appropriate to do so). I do suggest that you rehearse your stories (part of preparing) so that they come across natural and real.
Take the pressure off of yourself—While you might be feeling nervous or during your talk you forget to make a point, keep the following in mind—the audience can tell! Really! They don’t know what they don’t know. If you forget a point, let it go (unless it is absolutely critical to your message) and move on or casually say something like, “and another thing…” You’ll only make yourself more nervous if you stop and admit that you’ve make a mistake.
Ask for feedback—Always ask others for their feedback about your talk…both the content of your message and the way in which you delivered it. I bet you find that you get a lot of positive feedback—more than you thought you’d get. I bet you also learn a few things.

If you have an upcoming talk and you would like some help preparing for it, contact me. I’m glad to help in any way.

Also, I’d love to hear your tips and thoughts as well.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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It’s all about me!

The Silver Bullet

Do you want fries with that?

The $oft $tuff

As Easy as ABC

MY perception and THE reality

Our Number One Fear

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